The Shopper / Racist

He looks exactly like his picture, except that he has a huge red wound on his forehead an also on the bridge of his nose.

I can get past that. It will heal. But I think he's going to have to tell me the story.

He also has a giant pooch in his pleated pants, and not in a good way. He looks like he used to be gigantic and has now lost a buttload of weight.

But he's well dressed, down to his little Ralph Lauren Polo socks. He's polite; he shakes my hand when I introduce myself. He doesn't use obscenities. He opens the door for me when we leave.

We chit chat, mostly about him. And then he says, "I used to have an office in Orlando. But--and this is going to sound bad, but I don't mean it that way--there's so much DIVERSITY down there." He said "diversity" as though he was saying, there's so much CRIME down there."

Ack.

And, he's a shopper.

He says things like, "I'm picky," and "I'm very independent," and "I'm happy with it just being me."

And I'm thinking, "So what the fuck are you doing on eHarmony?"

He excused himself after an hour and said he had "an appointment."

Just before standing to go, he says, "Can I ... would you ... what if ..." So I said, "Sure, if you'd like to."

He's not interested.

He's waiting for the perfect girl.

He'll die waiting.